Modern American society (and others but I’ll stick to the waters I’m swimming in at the moment) makes it hard to be awkward. Growth and exploration include making mistakes. If you knew all the answers, if you had already felt all those emotions and knew all the “best” responses already, it wouldn’t be growth. As a society, we pay lip-service to growth, to change, to widening viewpoints, to expanding horizons. But in reality, you mustn’t take risks in your classes because your grades determine your future. You mustn’t take risks in your business because your revenue is your livelihood. You mustn’t take risks with who you are or appear to be because your literal life is involved.

Yes, today is the Trans Day of Remembrance and yes, that is what started me down this path of thought. I’m not going to go too much further in that direction, though, because that moves beyond the zone of ‘professional’ into ‘personal’.

See me, navigating awkwardly between the personal and professional? That’s because I am new to this public-face-as-my-own-company bit. I’m comfortable gracefully navigating the divide for other companies, for outreach as a representative of this school or that department. I have plenty of experience there. But this is me, writing for us as we try to decide, where do we want to draw the line?

Somewhere between “a voice in gaming” and “my voice” is “my voice in gaming”. I’m looking for it. It’s a search. I’m going to be wrong sometimes. I’m going to take turns I will wish I hadn’t taken. I’m going to be awkward.

I’m going to be awkward in other areas, too. I’m sure that in a few years, I will look back at some of our publications and wince.

Fine.

Embrace awkward and do something new.

I love gaming. I love the TTRPG community. I love the marvelous, rich, indie games I see coming down the line. It was a thrill to back Coyote and Crow . It was a joy to find Harlem Unbound. I can’t wait to get my hands on Yazeba’s Bed and Breakfast. It is a revelation to see so many people so passionate about making safe spaces for each other, claiming space for who they are, making spaces where people can be free to be themselves.

So I want to make a space around me where people can be awkward. A space where it is okay to try new things and make mistakes. I hope you’ll join me. After all, table-top role-playing is about telling stories. And some of my favorite stories are about heroes trying something new and sometimes, they’re awkward.

Like us.

And in the end, they do amazing things.

I like the sound of that.